old friends

i am thankful for chatting on the phone with old friends!

traffic

i am grateful for very little traffic on the drive home. (only took 45 mins. rather than the 1.5 hours, that it can take sometimes.)

flowers

on our walk a little girl asked if i wanted the flowers she was holding. YES! i said. what a wonderful gift.

i am grateful kindness in small packages!

float more. fear less.

i am thankful for spontaneous acts that make me smile!

dreaming

i keep feeling like i need to justify my dream. i am once again putting myself into a position of acting out of guilt (or not acting)... this idea that i am not worthy (common theme) or that 'living the dream' is ok for someone else but not me. that some how it is perceived as selfish. (i also know that i have created this in my head. and it is only reflected back to me when i speak to other people. if i change my thinking and behavior, those around will change their perception, actions and words they use.)


i'm too old.
i'm too young.
i have everything i could need right now,
why would i want to risk the security i have?
i have a good job.
i have a great place to live.
why would i want to live with less. (stuff and space)
live where there is RISK.
live where there is LIFE.
live where there is LESS.
live where the moto can be... "vamos a la playa" (let's go to the beach.)

i am grateful for... slowing finding out how to negotiate these ideas and resolve them in myself and trust that, no one else's view of the way i want to live matters. (if i harms no one)

... remember to be "Marilee"! not what i think marilee should be.

Marilee thrives in an environment of...
risk
life
less stuff
adventure
unknown
less money
more connection
failures
simplicity
in the moment
feeling productive
embracing what is in front of me
witnessing the lives of others
learning something new every day
eating healthy
being in an active environment

frogs

i am grateful for my afternoon walk, accompanied by my friend leslie.
we saw frogs, GIANT tadpoles, grey heron, beaver like animal, ducks and little fish. AND it was sunny. thanks for the walk and laughs.

evening nap

after staying up late monday with april, drinking wine. it was nice to take an evening nap after work.

i am thankful for naps. (and going to bed early.)
... and pancakes for dinner.

believe

i am so thankful for my friends that believe in me!!

viola irene woolace

... just when i think i haven't made any progress on, "project marilee", i am sent a challenge and came through better than when i started.

i am so thankful for my dear friend and grandmother, vi. yesterday she spoke her mind (& heart) and put a lot of pressure on me to call my dad. i listened, made no promises i couldn't keep and responded respectfully and honestly to a very emotional request. later in the day... she called back to apologize. we talked it through and came out stronger on the other side. she is a powerful woman with so much to offer. (never disregard or disrespect an elder!!)

thank you for the respect, wisdom, dialog and true love... i am blessed.

house stuff

i am thankful for this house. i'm able to wash and line dry cloths, mow the lawn, weed, grow vegetables and flowers... thanks, chris.

remember

remember:
1. whoever comes, are the right people.
2. whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
3. whenever it starts, is the right time.
4. whenever it's over, it's over.

this is how my day has been feeling.
in the flow... with ease... surprises... and happy synchronicities; as if i might be knocking on the right doors.

i am thankful that what is... IS.

wine work

had an outing today with coworkers. we drove about 20 minutes north of work and were whisked away to lush hills with grazing cows and grapes hanging from the vine. we had a lovely lunch and great wines.

i am thankful for even more new work friends!!

opportunities

i am grateful for new opportunities and reminding myself... 'i can do it!'

marilyn

i am so grateful for marilyn.

over the years she has really become a wonderful and dear friend. we have amazing conversations about everything. she is a fantastic listener and because of her experiences... she shares her unique perspective and is so inquisitive about my life. i hope i give her the same respect and kindness. she is one of a kind! thank you mom!!

new light

i am grateful for the coworkers seeing me in a new light.

it was wonderful to walk into work and have all coworkers i traveled with look at me, like they new me. after 5 days in mexico, they really saw me... that seems to get lost at work. (in the cube, with the headphones on and taking orders.)

one

when i want to do something good, i've heard... "you can't help everyone". and my response is, "you're right! but i can help some ONE!"

tonight i met a man from haiti that is in portland because someone helped him.

i am grateful for the ONE. we can always help someone. try it!

readjust

i am thankful for a lovely day of readjusting.

a drive in the sunshine
saw 'sherbert' the awesomest neighborhood cat, ever!
mark and kari's for a hello
mexican food at 'delfino's'
SUNSHINE!
a long nap
air hockey on the ipad
and my own bed

friday futbol

i can't even begin to list all the wonders of gratitude for friday...

but... one thing that sticks out is,

watching the futbol game of mexico vs south africa, in mexico at 9am (i got there at 10), with tons of new friends, crammed into a hot bar... band on the roof, dogs coming and going, kids everywhere, the shops closed and the excitement of the game through their eyes! and the 11am party afterward wasn't too bad either.

wonder

i am thankful for being here. i wandered all over town just going up one street and down another and here and there. never quit lost but just following my nose. to the beach, to a restaurant, to the room, to the bar... seeing friends from last night in the square and wondering... why more is said to be better... when sand in my flip flops, sweat and the sea seem to be just enough and just right.

rastas

i am grateful for mexicans looking beyond my skin. (which we(americans) can't seem to do lately, unless they are picking something) they gave me a perfect night. music, food, dancing, instant friends, brothers, sisters, love, kindness, laughter and most of all... a sense of belonging. as the basque say... 'you drink with us, you eat with us... YOU ARE US!.' mexico has not let me down, nor its people. i am welcomed everyday with smiles, love and connections that i can't seem to measure outside these boarders. i may be lacking in SPF but my heart has found a home every time i come here. please... please... remind of where i belong, and whisper... 'mexico. mexico! MEXICO!!'. i will hear you and i will come home.

... and don't let me fall asleep, because every morning i am reminded of where i 'should' be... and cry. and in the night it all returns with a tornado! "COME HOME! COME HOME! WE MISS YOU. COME HOME!"

tuesday boat

ate breakfast and took a ride to the marina to get on an all day boat ride.

swam through caves, saw schools of fish (swam with them) watched birds dive for food, dolphins and could have swam all day in this cool water with the warm breeze. the boat captain was 'rad' and his deck hands beautiful. tons of little beers, sandwiches and an ocean that stretched out and out and out.

i am thankful for raggaetone music, the feeling of still being on the boat even while typing and drinking a beer. understanding some spanish... and for the love of GOD... mexico.

goal=sell everything, live the life i have. (in mexico)

monday sayulita

holy shit!! this is fantastic.

the villa is huge. the view is amazing. my coworkers are awesome!
dinner overlooking the water. live salsa music. danced and danced with the locals.

i am most grateful for the locals that put me on the right dirt road home. the night watchman that shared a beer, smoke and stories of his 10 kids, 22 grandkids, 3 jobs and the stars. so many new friends!! mexcians make me happy... their smiles, dark skin, wonderful language and openness to gringas!!

thank you. thank you.

sunday

i am so thankful communication and a partner that is a willing participant and always got my back. i love him!!

swim suits

i am thankful for the chance to go to mexico again!!

i am not so excited about how i feel about my body right now. i am not a self conscience person by nature. my usual thinking is...
'own it!'
'rock what'cha got!'
'got it? own it!'

the thing i am trying to remember, as i don the swim suit is... "self confidence is beautiful!" and
"who gives a shit, anyway. i'm here to have fun!!"

work

i am grateful... work ain't all bad.

blogs

i have always been interested in birth, labor, doulas, midwives, parenting... recently i am finding so much information on the internet about these topics.

i am thankful for learning new and very interesting things.

trees

email to joy...
this morning i woke up from a dream i had, with you in it.

we were packing or unpacking all your stuff for your move and your mom and dad were there helping, too. you had tons and tons of stuff, so we were there for a while. at one point you said, "hey, mare... i want to show you something." you lead me to this hill that overlooked the town and there were 2 trees there. you said, "do you remember back in middle school when they gave each of us a little tree to plant at our house?" "yes." i said. "but i couldn't plant mine at my house, so i gave it to you." it was then, that we were standing by these two magnificent trees. one was so tall and strong with a huge trunk and long roots and the other was a beautiful japanese maple that was fragile with so much amazing color and shape.

these were our trees that you planted for us.

it was a lovely way to wake up.
thanks for planting our trees.

knowledge

in the past couple of days i have come across a couple of really cool things. a fantastic movie... "the business of being born" and an article about the benefits of mother/baby contact and infant spinal health.

i am so grateful for access to knowledge, choices and like minded people.


http://www.sleepywrap.com/
stroller vs baby-carrier in infancy

The Business of Being Born

2007NR84 minutes

Director Abby Epstein's controversial documentary takes a hard look at America's maternity care system, juxtaposing hospital deliveries against the growing popularity of at-home, natural childbirths that some expectant parents are opting for. Former talk show host Ricki Lake was inspired to produce this compelling exposé after a dissatisfying birthing experience with her first child left her with many unanswered questions.